Telephone Line
by Sora-M-Jigen
Summary: Oneshot. After the loss of Danny Pink and the absence of the Doctor, Clara finds herself in immeasurable grief and sorrow. So what happens when an old friend calls her up?


It had been a while since the Doctor and Danny Pink left Clara's life. Danny had died doing what was right, a true soldier's death for the good of mankind, especially his woman. The Doctor had whisked himself away into the galaxy and once more, Clara Oswald was met with sorrow. The shadows in her bedroom stretched like phantoms presenting hands to capture her so that she could never ever gain any joy. Yet the moonlight seemed to protect her, glowing around her bed like a natural spotlight as she slept on the world's stage. Those shadowy specters reeled from the moonlight, not wanting to experience its wondrous glow. But despite this ring of moonlight, Clara still faced the shadows of sadness in her mind. Every time she would think of Danny she would do her best not to break. Every time the Doctor's words whispered in her ear she would bite her lip, swallowing how much she missed him.

When the Doctor and Danny were around, it was hard to keep dual lives: The normal life as a teacher with a relationship between herself and Danny versus the unordinary life of a time traveler's companion with a close relationship to the Doctor. Teaching was dull after a while, the students were obedient, but a pain at times. Though Danny could easily remedy that with a surprise lunch date or spontaneous romantic plans of dinner and a movie.

Time travel was never boring. It was always a new adventure with the Doctor, encountering different alien races, exploring new planets, diving into different galaxies, all with the comfort of a blue box, and the 50/50 possibility that she may not make it back home. It was a thrilling life that anyone would kill to have and Clara was no exception.

From the corner of her eye she noticed the silent, unappealing black screen of her cell phone. It had been days since she had heard word from anyone, including the Doctor. This realization made her mind plunge deeper into her internal void, as every word that Danny and the Doctor ever said to her came flooding into her head. 'Don't be lasagna,' 'I love you,' 'Chin up, shoulders back let's see what we're made of,' 'one person is more amazing, hard to understand, but more amazing than universes,' 'til then, what you need is me,' 'the promise of a soldier, you will sleep safe tonight.'

And for every night that the Doctor and Danny were not there, Clara did sleep safely, as best she could. But most of her nights were met with restlessness, attempting to move on from not only the loss of her beloved, but the absence of a man who had grown to be her closest friend. It was someone who she needed so desperately at the moment to rest her head on and cry. Knowing he wouldn't hug her (the man was completely against hugs), he would do his best to comfort her and offer her any words of reassurance. He would then probably try to cheer her up by taking her on some grand adventure of her choosing. She would say yes and no sooner the adventure whisked her away would she forget Danny Pink and his words repeating in her head and how soft his kisses were and how she unconditionally loved him. But like a boomerang, Danny would somehow return to her thoughts and bring all the sorrow and sweetness of his memory; it would be sparked like a firecracker in her mind and keep exploding until some powerful force stopped her.

Knowing this, Clara's mind raced and secretly hoped that it would happen. That the Doctor would appear at her doorstep, wanting to make her feel better with some new venture. But she knew he wouldn't, that they had both parted ways. They both knew their time together had come to a close and both had to cope with the new chapters their lives presented them with. Clara, with her grief tainted ordinary life and the Doctor with his lone travels until he found a new companion. They would never have their adventures again and they would be nothing more than memories and dreams that would dance through their heads. Forgetting would be so hard to do, but neither of them wanted to forget. How could you forget someone you had grown so close to?

The Doctor was out there somewhere and maybe he would have a change of heart. Maybe he would reconsider his new, lone wolf life and return to Clara. He always knew that she would welcome him with open arms that would wrap into a hug that he protested. Clara knew this too, that she would invite him back into her life no sooner he appeared. The hope that he would come back to Clara made her heart pound. Staring off into the night sky, Clara drew her legs to her chest.

She began to wonder where the Doctor was at this moment. She imagined him running about a trouble ridden planet with aliens that only he could save and no one else. She imagined his cunning plans, his wit, and how he would rescue the species. Piecing this story in her head, it relieved Clara to know that he was possibly having fun at this moment; but this expression immediately changed because she was not with him. Sadness tugged at her lips as she locked eyes with the eyes of the sky, those flickering stars, distant candle flames that she had once explored with the Doctor. Every star seemed to twinkle brightly, as though the Doctor was making them shine just to see Clara smile. Clara softly giggled at that notion because it was something the Doctor would do. The idea that he would do that made her miss him more as she softly sighed to herself, wishing he was here.

The abrupt ringing of her cell phone broke her focus on the stars and made her heart stop beating.

Clara's head slowly turned to the phone at her bedside. The idea of someone calling, just anyone calling was enough to make her hungrily reach for the phone. Perhaps it was the Doctor, perhaps it was her grandmother, perhaps it was someone, anyone who knew that Clara Oswald was up this late, and filled with an unbreakable sadness that consumed her mind. It had seemed so long since she had had any human contact and to finally obtain it by the means of a cellular device and a hopefully kind voice, made her heart race. Oh what she would tell that other person on the line, of how she wished Danny Pink was still alive, of how she wanted every single trace of his memory gone from her head, of how she needed her best friend by her side – or perhaps, this was her best friend calling.

The mere thought of the Doctor calling made Clara hurriedly swipe the screen, not noticing the number.

"H-hello?"

The other line was met with silence. It wasn't eerie, by any means despite the fact that Clara's hairs rose on the back of her neck. She could feel her breath catch in her throat, as though something stopped her from saying anything at all. It was at then her mind began to question the phone call. Who would be on the other line? Her grandmother was probably asleep at this late hour as well as any friends Clara had. And as far as Clara was concerned, no one knew she was awake or suffering from restlessness or insomnia. For all she knew this could have been a prank call, but who would be making a prank call at 2 am? No one was up this late unless it was another time in a different place. Clara bit her lower lip in contemplation, thinking of who she knew in a foreign land.

Eyes widening, only one name came to her head.

"Doctor?"

No voice responded to that name. No breathing was heard on the other line either as Clara's heart pounded in her ears. Quietly she hoped that her heartbeat didn't silence the person on the other line. She couldn't control how fast her heart was thrumming and her thoughts didn't help. There was a shred of possibility that the Doctor was the caller, the one man she needed at this moment other than Danny Pink. Yet she knew that Danny wasn't alive and he never would be again other than in her memories. Tears slowly drew themselves to her lashes at this harsh realization that she had known all this time. Swallowing a sob, Clara bit her lower lip to restrain any sobs that began to build in her throat. With every gathering tear she could feel her dam crumbling, her strong front slowly slipping to the possible man on the phone, and the memory of a man she would never love again.

If this was the Doctor why did he not say anything? Perhaps he didn't hear her and her voice was a whisper. She swore she spoke clearly and coherently though as she cleared her throat, gaining the ability to speak once more.

"Doctor?!"

Her strangled, sob coated voice was met with a soft whirring that sounded like a breathing machine. A ghost in the gears, breathing to time in a rather large space. It always was bigger on the inside and she swore the sound synced with her heart. What a wonderful sound, if it was what she thought it was. She wasn't dreaming nor were her deepest desires making her hallucinate. What was happening in this moment wasn't a dream either. It was as real as the tears rolling down Clara's cheeks and the hope that burst within her that this was the Doctor and that she was hearing the Tardis.

"Doctor?! Please….please tell me that's you."

On the other line was a somber, older gentleman who was uncertain of what to say. His two hearts rang in his ears like constant gunfire, alerting him that he was still on the line with someone he wanted so dearly to talk to. But words escaped him like all his other companions who had met their fates terribly or wonderfully. Leaning against the doorframe of the Tardis, the older man gripped the phone as though his life depended on it. With every sob, the grip grew tighter, knowing that this was his only connection to Clara. As his head rested against the blue box, he kept his stony, stern eyes closed. A personal universe behind eyelids where he was the king, but he didn't want that.

Clara's voice was suffocated with sadness as he gritted his teeth. He knew Danny Pink was the partial reason for this sadness as well as the Doctor's leave, but they had to go their separate ways. He knew she needed time to herself, to grieve, to regain her strength, to be strong and carry on and have a break from all of time and space. Why anyone would want that break though was beyond him. It was an adventure of a lifetime to see the stars. Yes, one could study and train to join a space program, but travelling by Tardis was so much easier. No degree required, no years of study needed, and you could go anywhere you pleased. Plus the Tardis could go to any period of time, a feature that not even Earth's mightiest space programs or science had.

Another choked sob snapped the Doctor back to reality. By now the Doctor could feel his body tense with every sob that Clara tried to restrain. Clara, his Clara, he wanted to hear her voice, to see how she was doing, and to fulfill the hopeful wish in his heart that Clara Oswald was all right.

But she wasn't.

And he knew that she was staring into the sky because the screen in his Tardis told him so. He knew she was searching for him and that her tear rimmed eyes were seeking any solace that the stars had to offer. He knew the stars held nothing for her as he swore he heard her choke back a few sobs. Eyes narrowing in frustration and self anger, he knew he shouldn't have left her alone. His intense eyes drifted into the universe before him, an endless river of darkness that they both stared into, seeking unattainable answers, and unreachable desires. Somewhere in this abyss was some sort of solace for Clara, other than what he could provide.

The Doctor was sure Clara had friends. He had never met them, but her being a likeable woman, she had to have friends. He knew she didn't have any parents and couldn't recall if she mentioned something about a relative or not. Why had they not called her to see if she was all right and why had no one at her work taken notice? Those damn daft pudding brains. Such a curious, self centered race and yet the Doctor was endlessly provoked by them. So brash, yet so calm, so offensive, yet so sensitive; they baffled him and Clara was no exception, even though he seemed to understand her more than anyone else.

She was patient, he knew this. She had the patience of a saint he swore sometimes, but when she snapped it was lethal. She had once threatened to slap him so hard he would regenerate and the Doctor knew she would too, given that situation. But by now the time lord knew that she needed an answer and that he had to face the music sooner or later. After all he did call her to check up on her and by now, he should have hung up. He just wanted to hear her voice and from it he could discern how she was. How Clara's depressed voice sounded as though her world had ended and her sobs made him stay on the line as his hearts beat with rapid concern. He needed to say something to her, but what he did not know. Letters fumbled and jumbled in his head, trying to create some coherent message for him to say.

Concern was overriding his mind and making him want to throw the phone and go to her. From there he would approach her without hesitation and knowing her, she would hug him no sooner he came into close range. For a second time, he would let her hug him though for good reason. She was alone and in mourning, she couldn't handle it by herself as much as he convinced himself she could. The Doctor mentally slapped himself in punishment, knowing that he had to travel to Earth and be there for her. Yes, that's what he needed to, but it was at that moment his brain forced his mouth to blurt out, "Clara, are you okay? Do you need me?"

"Doctor! Wh-…where ar-are you?!"

Clara's sobs grew worse, he knew he had to get to her.

"Clara, I'm-"

The line was cut as the Tardis rumbled and roared, being thrust into the universe. Some planet was calling him, some place was in dire need of a rescue, some species was in great need of the time lord's help. Falling to the floor the Doctor gasped in shock as the Tardis closed its door with an unforgiving slam. The galaxy was gone from his view, but the phone was not. It collapsed a few inches away from the Doctor's feet as he scowled in frustration and slowly rose. Using the console and rails for support, he made his way over to the phone, its mouth piece facing upward, pushing him to talk to Clara even more. Hastily grabbing the phone, he held onto the rail as the Tardis shook and rattled through space. Blurred stars and darkness peered in through the Tardis windows, cosmic eyes watching his every move.

"Clara?! Clara?!"

Silence was met on the other line as he whipped his head around, narrowed eyes and attack eyebrows locking with the Tardis' core. He knew it wasn't the Tardis' fault and that it was being controlled by some otherworldly being. How he didn't know, but he had to find out so that this would never occur again. Hurrying to the console, he brought the phone with him in case the line was reconnected and he could speak with Clara. Resting the receiver on the side of the console, the Doctor was flung onto the control panel. Cursing the situation beneath his breath, he tried to pinpoint where the Tardis was taking him. It was just his luck, just as soon as he found the perfect thing to say, the universe went haywire. Of course, it was the wonders of time and space that he could do nothing, but curse at. His fingers tripped over buttons, trying to bring this sudden, unexpected journey to a halt. This new world, this new venture meant nothing to him. All he knew was that he had to be there for Clara as he felt regret explode throughout his body like a thousand sticks of dynamite. Each one more painful than the last, he felt the mental explosions collide with his hearts, making him detest himself for ever leaving Clara alone.

"I should have never left you." His defeated voice admitted to no one as he threw a lever and the Tardis went hurtling even further into space. Damnit!

Cursing under his breath, the Doctor raced about the console trying to stop the Tardis. But she was stubborn and refused to listen, only obeying the pull of a far off cry somewhere in a different galaxy, distant from Clara's. There was no time for this situation, he had to find a way to turn back, to get to Clara, and make sure she was all right. How far he went into the universe the Doctor did not know and it made his head reel, planet names popping up in his brain like weeds in the spring. Coordinates appeared and fizzed on the screen, the numbers changing drastically with each passing second. They were changing so fast that the Doctor couldn't even make them out as he snarled and kept flicking switches to see if it could change the situation. Nothing seemed to help as he slammed his fists on the control, angered by his own belief, Clara's condition, and how he couldn't turn the Tardis around to save Clara from her self. Falling to his knees, the Doctor punched the controls, uncertain as to what else he could do.

What did humans do when they were in mourning or depressed? The Doctor had never asked himself this question, but what he could tell about Clara was that she cried, hugged, and at times, needed space. Maybe not being there for her was a good thing and maybe she had to wrestle with this on her own terms. But if this were the case she wouldn't be crying and asking where he was. She probably did need him and he rammed his forehead and fists against the console, completely frustrated with himself.

In a mere moment, the Doctor was swept off his knees as the Tardis stopped with a loud crash. Quickly rising, he gripped the screen and examined it, finding himself on a planet he never even heard of and scowled. What could they possibly want and need from someone like him at a time like this, he didn't know. He didn't want to know because of what he was dealing with at the moment. Madly growling, he pulled a lever, attempted to set the coordinates for Clara's home, and threw another level. In response, the Tardis did not move an inch, but rather wailed and moaned in protest.

"Come on! What's wrong?!"

Another attempt and he was met with the same response, more groaning against his wishes. Swiftly looking to the screen once more, he noticed that the coordinates were gone and in their place was an army of strangely clad beings with what appeared to be guns in their hands. Furrowing his brow, the Doctor pulled the same levers and set the coordinates. Once more, the Tardis howled in protest and the coordinates faded to reveal the aliens' faces hidden behind their firearms. They didn't want him to leave and no matter how many times he tried to plug the coordinates in they would always give way to this species. Already the Doctor hated this species and with a heavy sigh, he knew he had no choice. They probably wouldn't let him leave anyway until their problem was solved and they were happy. Self centered little bastards, whatever they were.

Once more the Doctor reached for the phone and pressed his ear as tightly as he could to the listening end. Silence met with him; not even a small sob was heard on the other line. She didn't call for his name either, which definitely meant that the line had completely cut her off. Deeply sighing, he felt boulders of guilt and regret weight down his shoulders. His body slumped beneath the weight as he gripped the console, as though he would fall from this sudden wave of emotions. Even his eyes closed, weighed down by whatever boulders fell on his eyelids. His right hand twitched, as though it was the only part of his body not possessed by this sudden sadness. Fingers scurried to a keypad and dialed her number.

No ringtone, no answer, no reception at this end of the universe.

"Clara? I don't know if you can hear me, but please hold on. You are brave and strong. You can do this."

More silence. By now Clara probably had an even bigger hole in her heart and was probably bursting into tears. All those sobs had to be flooding through, like the walls of a dam being broken. Knowing that he couldn't repair those walls or support her in this moment made his hearts twinge in pain. Even now his fingers drooped and rested in defeat on the console, knowing that there was nothing else he could do, but surrender to the monstrosities that summoned him here. Holding onto the receiver as though it was his very life, he opened the door to the Tardis and placed the phone in its socket. Raising his hands over his head, the aliens slowly lowered their guns, and started a new adventure.

Clara pressed her phone to her ear, praying for some miracle to occur and she would hear the Doctor speaking words of encouragement. Rosy red cheeks were damp with tears she had shed already, her sobs had broken down any walls of strength she tried to exhibit to the Doctor. With every passing second, she shoved the phone against her ear, hoping to hear any noise from the other side. The Tardis, the Doctor, the gears humming within the console, anything to offer her some reassurance that someone was there for her. Yet after many minutes, no noise could be heard. The Doctor was gone once more and she was left to her internal sadness and memories as they crashed down on her like a tsunami._  
_  
Slowly sliding her legs into her bed sheets, her eyes never left the stars. Gripping the phone, her gaze shifted between the shimmering stars beneath a brilliant moon and the cell phone in her hand. The screen was black again, no longer alive with action or the Doctor's name on her screen. It was uncomforting and offered no assurance to the situation at hand. Hastily, Clara redialed the number, hoping that there would be a connection and that maybe she accidentally hung up on him. Thrown into silence again, she could hear her heartbeat ringing throughout her cell phone. The Doctor wouldn't just hang up on her or give up on her like that, especially when something was wrong. There was probably something wrong with the Tardis and the Doctor was probably doing his best to fix it in that moment. Clara didn't know how long it would take to fix a phone error in the Tardis. The phone wasn't used often, especially with this Doctor. Now that she thought about it, this might be the first time he had used this phone. She wasn't sure how long it would take for him to fix whatever the issue was, but she would never release the cell phone. It could hold a good charge so that didn't bother her. Resting her head on the pillow, she laid the phone beside her in case it went off.

As the night rolled on, the phone didn't ring and with every shred of silence the sadness returned to Clara. Danny Pink's smile made her heart stop beating and his remembered solace made her cringe, knowing how she dearly needed that comfort. Where was the Doctor and why hadn't he called, it couldn't take this long to fix an error, right? She only knew the mechanics of the Tardis to an extent, he knew far more than she did, but still, it shouldn't have taken this long. Perhaps she was being selfish and just wanted to hear from him in her time of need. Redialing his number again, she was met with the heartbreaking answer of silence and her own sobs echoing throughout the room.

Clara would have to be strong on her own. It was what the Doctor would have wanted and she couldn't be left hanging in her sorrow. She would have to eliminate any memory or feeling towards Danny Pink in any means possible and sensible. Every time she would cry or feel her dam breaking, she would have to swallow hard, and keep her chin up with her head held high. Every time something reminded Clara of Danny or the Doctor she would close her eyes and ignore whatever it was, walking away into a new chapter of her life. Every time their words rang out in her head, Clara would have to silence them with a mental wall. She would not allow her emotions to dominate her and she knew that the Doctor would think that best for her. Emotions could only control humans so far before they had to take the reins and stop them from overruling their life. Life was not meant to be overruled by the heart or imbalanced between the heart and the head. Both the heart and the head had a say in everything that everyone did and Clara was no exception.

Looking at the phone once more, she bit her lower lip and shakily placed the phone on her nightstand. No more waiting, no more crying. It was time to sleep, a new day was on the horizon, and she would face it with every fiber of strength in her being.


End file.
